Wow it's been a couple weeks since I've blog. Haven't had much insomnia in awhile which has been very nice. Sept of course the other night I couldn't sleep at all & yet again last night I had trouble sleeping until I had finally made up my mind & decided what must be done.
Change....... More change for the better, my well being, & for my sanity. Sometimes you reach a point in your life when you know you must let go & move on from certain people. If you don't then they keep bringing you down. I thought that the last stint was finally the last straw & I was happy they were gone until they found a way back into my life. Now yet again a few weeks later they only prove to me how childish they are and how abusive they are to me. I've become there emotional, mental, & verbal punching bag. They are always attacking me, putting me down, & making me feel like shit. So last night I asked myself why am I still friends with them???? *Light bulb* Because I have this insatiable need to always be there for them, to hold them up, & support them in all there decisions because no one ever does. Then it occurred to me..... Why am I trying to be there & help someone that doesn't appreciate anything I do for them? Yet again I don't know. So with a heavy heart I made my decision to just let them go. I won't write to them, text them, or even call them to explain why our friendship must end. Truthfully I know they won't care but I do know when the day is dark & no one is listening to them; they will wish they could talk to me, to help them & be there for them. And I won't be there. I've had it with there abusiveness & I am moving on with my life.
My life is actually pretty great. I spend all my time with my children & my husband when he's not at work or school. My days are always busy & I seldom get time to myself. But I'm okay with that because all my time & energy goes into playing, reading, & taking care of my kids & being there for my hubby. I've realized that I am always so busy with them that I don't make time for friends. But some of my friends understand this & do not hold it against me. But of course those friends that understand are parents themselves & no what life is like when you have children & a man on top of that. The so-called friends that don't understand this obviously don't have children or they apparently don't spend much time with there children. Because involved parents know what it is like to lose track of time when it's spent with your children & family. So yes my days are busy & soon will be even busier once my son starts school next week. Can't believe he's going to be in 2nd grade. He's growing up so fast *sad face*
Well it's time to start on them changes. Not easy but they must be done if I want to be happy in life. So off I go to better my life. Hope everyone out there is having a great day & good week. Don't know how often I'll blog but I will try to blog often.
~Sparrow~
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