Sister...

Every day I try & try.
As u put your hand up & say good-bye.
All I want is to be close like sisters should.
Have what my friends & cousins have.
Someone to talk to,
To confide in.
Someone who's there thru thick & thin.
Your sister is suppose to be your best friend.
But you are still a stranger to me.

As I grow up.
More & more people tell me I'm just like you.
Makes me wonder how much of it is true?
When I look in the mirror & see you.
Only pride & joy are in my eyes.
Cuz for a second I looked just like you.

Growing up all I wanted was my big sis there.
But yet when I called you were never near.
Said you'd always be here for me.
But when I looked around you were no where to be found.
I'll never understand why you were there for others but never me.
All I've ever wanted was my sister there.
To share in my life & to just care.
It seems as tho I want to much.
All I ever asked was for you to love me just once.

So as time slowly passes.
So does the years.
I've grown up without my sister near.
It hurts more then you'll ever know.
I've tried to become closer as I've gotten older.
Yet there's still a wall I'll never be strong enough to break thru.
You can say all your feelings to me.
But your actions speak louder then all the lies I see.

Even tho I'll say I don't care & it doesn't bother me your not near.
In my heart & soul I'll always hope for the sister I've never really known.
Hope is all I have; so I'll hold dear.
That some day you'll see all I ever wanted was my sister near.


All poetry and lyrics written and owned by Kelli Irene "Sparrow" Ramirez-Snowhawk and federally protected under the United States Copyright Act © 1998-2010

Gone

As I lay my head to sleep.
Tears flow from my eyes with grief.
One day your here & the next your dead.
Never once did I think I'd wake & you'd be gone.
Head spinning; so surreal.
All I could do was scream & yell.
But no one would listen.
I wanted you to wake & breath on your own.
They told me there was nothing I could do & you were gone.
I couldn't understand.
The days just dragged on.

Days into weeks.
Weeks into months.
Months into years.
And still I sit here with a broken heart & eyes full of tears.
Still no cure; no answers for some relief.
I'd like to some day stop blaming me.
They say I couldn't of prevented it.
You fell asleep & never woke up.
Don't tell a mother she can't protect her baby.
Now how the hell do I go on?!

I may awake & put a smile on my face.
But behind the mask is a tear streamed face.
A broken heart within my chest that barely beats.
No one can take this pain away.
Or even give me relief.
Not a day will ever go by that I won't miss my Angel eyes.
And wish she was still in my arms instead of Heaven above.

Dead & gone there's nothing I can do.
Only morn for the daughter taken way to soon.
Love you Angel.
Not a day goes by you don't live on in my memory & this broken heart that some how still beats.


All poetry and lyrics written and owned by Kelli Irene "Sparrow" Ramirez-Snowhawk and federally protected under the United States Copyright Act © 1998-2010

Untitled

Life is always changing.
One minute your smiling the next your crying.
Heart breaking, soul aching.
Realization that you never mattered.
As you sit in the dark & cry your heart out.
There off living. Never caring.
There back turned & they walked away.
Never even looked back.
Just said good-bye; no second thought.
Doesn't matter your heart has shattered.
Freedom must be what they feel.
You realize it was all a game & they have no shame.
Rip your heart out & just walk away.
You lye in the dust & mourn there loss.
Will your heart ever be whole?
Or are you forever lost?
True love has no boundaries.
So does this mean they were never true love to begin with?
So easy for them to walk away.
While all the while your shattered inside.
Broken & tattered.
Never the same.
When will your life be yours again?
Will your heart ever mend?

Only time will tell.
Life goes on.
Your broken now.
But you are strong.
Every day is a new day & you will rise with the sun.
Your life will go on just like there's does.

Broken shattered tattered & worn.
Stronger then ever.
So stand tall & breath.
You've survived another day.
Life Goes On.....


All poetry and lyrics written and owned by Kelli Irene "Sparrow" Ramirez-Snowhawk and federally protected under the United States Copyright Act © 1998-2010

Heartbreak of SIDS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SsACSSOPyw&feature=player_embedded

Thank you to SIDS Support- Learning To Cope for making this video.
Always remember that we may not show our heartbreak & pain on the outside but on the inside we are always crying & hurting for our Angel  Babies no longer.
Mommy misses you Zenzi every day. It breaks my heart that your little sister will never know you & your big brother will never get to be there for you & help you grow =[